Get Rid of the Dead Weight: Declutter

I made great strides earlier this summer in decluttering our house. I got rid of unused furniture, outgrown kids’ clothing, knick-knacks, and outdated magazines. It felt great. I don’t miss anything at all. But that was the EASY part: all those things were obvious throw-aways. Now I’m getting down to the nitty-gritty: going through desk drawers, old VHS tapes, kitchen cupboards, and linen closets. The second layer is tougher, but equally liberating to have accomplished. The big question I keep asking myself is: how did I GET to this point?

The clutter that surrounds most of us is symbolic of all the “things” we feel we need in life. As I go through my boxes and closets, I consider the money I spent on these things and the time it took to shop for them. Did they really enhance my life? Sometimes the answer is yes, but mostly it’s no. If I can detach myself from my unneeded “stuff” perhaps I can also detach from the consumer mentality that is shoved down our throats as Americans.

Walk the mall any given weekend and you’ll see American families involved in the sport of shopping. Happy parents are raising a new generation of consumers. What would happen if we spent our time with friends, gardening, or reading? What if we saved more of our money instead of letting it burn a hole in our pocket? No doubt we’d all be better off as friends, spouses, parents, and individuals.

I’m finding out that when you declutter, something amazing happens. Getting rid of the dead weight in your life invites new experiences. You feel renewed and energized.
My next challenge is to invest that energy into productive, life-enhancing experiences. Not buying more stuff.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles...

And so, the big question is looming. Where do I begin my mission to “Forget the Joneses?” What does it really mean? The enormity of the project is overwhelming. To me, Forgetting the Joneses isn't just about money. It's about living the life that was meant for you, not just what society expects. Giving yourself a total life makeover isn't something that happens overnight. Confucius once said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." So, with baby steps, I try to devise a plan.

Figure Out What REALLY Matters
I’m in my mid-30s. I have 40 staring at me in the face, whether I want to acknowledge its presence or not. I have done a lot of living so far, but when I’m older I don’t want to have any regrets. Sometimes when you’re living to get through each day or each week, you lose sight of the big picture. Time is at a premium, and I want to make the most of it.

Since my kids are now 7 and 3, their younger years are also slipping by quickly. What do I want to do with them? What kind of parent do I want to be? For me, schlepping them to activities and What are my personal, professional, and leisure goals? To begin to live consciously, I need a plan.

Don’t Get Mired in the Material Things
I’ll admit it. I can get caught up with material things sometimes. Who isn’t? I like where we live now better than our tiny starter-house across town. I feel good when I wear a new outfit and get a nice haircut. And I assume my husband feels more confident pulling up in his new vehicle than he did in his 10-year-old sedan that we traded off last year. While I believe enjoying material things in life is OK, we all have to figure out a balance that works for our own pocketbook and is in line with our goals in life. But since there are no hard-and-fast guidelines to the consumption of material goods, everyone has to decide what’s right for them.

Revisit the Family Budget
While we’re not poor by any means, we’re not rich either. We're straight-up middle class, baby, whatever that means anymore. I don’t want to fritter away our hard-earned money on things that we don’t need or even want. When I look at our credit card statements for each month, I see restaurant bills and more Old Navy charges than I care to admit to. While we pay off our bill every month, what ELSE could we be doing with our money? Did I really need the new Swiffer mop and wrapping paper I found on clearance at Target last week? Budgets aren’t just for those with living paycheck to paycheck, and our family could benefit from one.

With sketchy road map in hand, I begin my journey...

It All Started With a T-Shirt

It all started with a T-shirt. A T-shirt in a grocery store to be exact. Maybe it was just the right time of my life to see it. I was in my mid-30s, in midst of stay at home motherhood. My life seemed to revolve around schlepping kids to activities, catching up on reality TV shows and cleaning my house. I wasn’t unusual; most of my friends were doing the same thing.

Instead of dreaming about what we’d grow up to be one day, my friends and I were now dreaming about making more money so that we could buy bigger houses. That we’d have to clean. Yet besides motherhood, many of our dreams were left unfulfilled and our creative energy untapped. Something seemed very backward about the turn our lives had taken. And so many were mortgaged to the hilt to live that very lifestyle.

The shirt was emblazoned with the bold statement “Forget About the Joneses” and it made me think long and hard about its message. Why are so many Americans in pursuit of “The Good Life” – yet once they achieve it, aren’t happy? We’re one of the most prosperous nations on Earth, one of the least fulfilled.

To so many of us “Having it All” means a big house, nice cars, extravagant vacations and designer clothes. While we all know that money doesn’t buy happiness, our actions aren’t always in line with our beliefs. And what DOES bring happiness, anyway?

I felt I had subconsciously been going through life on autopilot and needed to claim it as my own again. What did my husband and I want to achieve financially? Were we frittering our money away on things we didn’t really need, or even want? What were our dreams and goals? How could we reclaim a little more time and energy and better direct our financial resources to accomplish them?

And so this is how a cheesy T-shirt at a grocery store inspired a quest of a more personal nature: My one-year assignment of reclaiming my OWN goals and dreams. Not the Joneses.